a Love is a Love till a Love is Lost

I do not think you realize how much you love someone until you know you are going to lose him or her. I have been crying for a month or so now, I have been hiding it, I have been faking happiness but I have really been dead inside. My heart is broken, a new feeling for me. I feel like the most important thing in my life is dead and at my hand. I loved, love and will always love Geoff. I am in love with you. I feel so weak, what can I do? What could I have done? Why is he over me? Why was this so simple for him? For you.

You may not love me today, tomorrow, or ever, but I will love you until it kills me, and, even then, you will be in my heart.

I cried last night, I cried this morning, I cry right now. I will cry until there are no more tears to wet my cheeks, no more breath to makes my screams. I have nothing anymore. Without you, I have nothing. You were everything to me and you took it all away. I hate you for what you have done to me. I am not supposed to be sad. I am supposed to be strong.

Doubt that the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.

How can I make you see this? How can I make us work?

Why can you not really tell me how you feel? Why can you not tell me that you are not in love with me but in love with someone else? Why can you not? How could you let that happen? How could I have let this happen?

Love is a many splendid thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love

For the first time in my life, I can feel the pains of the tragic love stories. I am Romeo, I am Christian.

Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest…

I remember when I first met you… I was afraid to talk to you, you were so unattainable, so beautiful, so perfect. I remember when I first became your friend… I was afraid to tell you how I felt, you were so kind, so funny, so perfect. I remember when you first kissed me… I was afraid of loving you, you were so true, so honest, so perfect. I remember when we first had sex… I was no longer afraid. You were one with me, so numbing, so gentle, so perfect. I remember when you broke up with me. I was afraid again. You were no longer in love with me, still perfect, still beautiful and again, unattainable. I remember again that I am alone. I am so afraid of never being loved again.

Give All to Love
by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Give all to love;
Obey thy heart;
Friends, kindred, days,
Estate, good fame,
Plans, credit, and the muse;
Nothing refuse.

‘Tis a brave master,
Let it have scope,
Follow it utterly,
Hope beyond hope;
High and more high,
It dives into noon,
With wing unspent,
Untold intent;
But ’tis a god,
Knows its own path,
And the outlets of the sky.
‘Tis not for the mean,
It requireth courage stout,
Souls above doubt,
Valor unbending;
Such ’twill reward,
They shall return
More than they were,
And ever ascending.

Leave all for love;—
Yet, hear me, yet,
One word more thy heart behoved,
One pulse more of firm endeavor,
Keep thee to-day,
To-morrow, for ever,
Free as an Arab
Of thy beloved.
Cling with life to the maid;
But when the surprise,
Vague shadow of surmise,
Flits across her bosom young
Of a joy apart from thee,
Free be she, fancy-free,
Do not thou detain a hem,
Nor the palest rose she flung
From her summer diadem.

Though thou loved her as thyself,
As a self of purer clay,
Tho’ her parting dims the day,
Stealing grace from all alive,
Heartily know,
When half-gods go,
The gods arrive.

I feel as though I must go run out to battle, prove to you my love, prove to you that we can be happy together now as we were before things went sour. I know I can do this. I know I can make you smile. I know I can be that guy for you. I saw a future for us, and the images, burned into my eyes.

We stand together, you place a ring on me, I place one on you. We kiss, we are married. We are the quintessential definition true love. Years pass and we have children. They are so cute, they are so perfect in our eyes. We fought hard for them, we cried for weeks when things looked like we might not have them. But we stuck it out, we have children together. They are so sweet, that have your sass and your ability to make my heart melt.

They grow up of course and we grow older. I can see the wrinkles on your face, I remember the laughter and smiles that made those wrinkles. I hold your hand as we drive to watch our first child graduate from college. We are so proud,… we cry as we realize that he is no longer ours alone.

We are alone now, retired and comfortable. We are full of love and nothing is more perfect. We travel Europe, we live our lives without a need for care. We have each other. You know those stories where the husband dies at age 87 and just a few weeks later, his wife dies? I can’t live without you. I would follow you home.

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.

I know you said to be that “brevity is the soul of wit” and I guess I have failed at making this brief. I leave with one last…

Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. Nor is it etched on stone, for stone can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart and there it shall remain forever.

Geoff, I love you, I want nothing more than you as my boyfriend, partner, husband, whatever. I don’t know what I can do. How I can win you. I can change, I will change, I have changed. And remember…

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I’ve never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day i’m loving you more than this
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Chorus:
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there’s no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I’ll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Chorus

Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

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