It’s Just Justin

So I really need to post more often

So much to say but no energy to say it. So here I will just list the new albums I have since my last posting.

A.C. Newman - The slow wonder
Al Jarreau - Accentuate the Positive
Al Jarreau - Tenderness [Live]
Allison Moorer - The Duel
Amp Fiddler - Waltz of a Ghetto Fly
Ani DiFranco - Educated Guess
Anna Nalick - Breathe (2AM) - Single
April March - Triggers
Barbra Streisand - Back To Broadway
Boys II Men - Legacy - Best ballads
Camber Van Beethoven - Rrissue Sampler
Carpenters - Gold Collection
Celine Dion - The French Album
Celine Dion - These Are Special Times
Christina Aguilera - My Kind Of Christmas
The Rat Pack - Christmas With The Rat Pack
Delerium - Chimera
Dexter Freebish - Life Of Saturdays
Diana Krall - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Dirty Dancing - Dirty Dancing
Diverse - One A.M.
Duncan Sheik - Duncan Sheik
Ella Fitzgerald - Ken Burns Jazz
Ella Fitzgerald - Our Love Is Here To Stay
Ella Fitzgerald - Sings The Cole Porter Song Book
Ellis Hooks - Uncomplicated
Elysian Fields - Dreams That Breathe Your Name
Handsome Boy Modeling School - White People
Jane Monheit - Taking A Change On Love
Jay Farrar - “Stone, Steel & Bright Lights”
Josh Rouse - 1972
Katy Rose - Because I Can
LeAnn Rimes - Greatest Hits
Linda Ronstadt - Round Midnight
Linda Ronstadt - Winter Light
London Symphony Orchestra - Braveheart
Martina McBride - Greatest Hits
Martina McBride - Martina
Maura O’Connell - Don’t I Know
Megan Mullally - Big As A Berry
Mindy Smith - One Moment More
Mosquitos - Mosquitos
Múm - Summer Make Good
Nat King Cole - Greatest Hits
Nat King Cole - The Christmas Song
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Shrek 2 Soundtrack
Poe - Haunted
Poe - Hello
Ricky Martin - Ricky Martin
Starlight Mints - Built On Squares
Sun Kil Moon - Ghosts Of The Great Highway
Teenage Fanclub - Four Thousand Seven Hundred And Sixty-Six Seconds
Westlife - The Greatest Hits (Unbreakable - Vol.1)
Westlife - Turnaround

That is like 56 albums!

Just a Few More Days

I would like to start this post with a picture of what I am about to leave…

So in like three days I will be back home in Tulsa. It is weird to think that Tulsa is home now, not Texas. Also weird that I refer to my old home as Texas, a state, and my new home as Tulsa, a city. Weird!!! Ha ha, not really that weird.

Oh well, the past few days and really past week or more has been really rough, emotionally. I have cried a few times and been mad a few times but mostly really extremely sad. Life is just sucky. Ending it now would end my life on a depressing point, I would rather end it on a high note.

No matter how hard I try, I will always fail. At least that is how it seems to be. I am going to actively work on not letting that happen anymore.

This guy, Paul, who is sitting behind me a few minutes ago said, “look even the fags are not here today, well one of the three are”, pointing about four rows infront of me and the section to the left.

My first shock was ‘he called them fags, what a bastard’. My second thought was… wait, there are three other gay guys in this class who sit next to each other everyday? How could I have not noticed that? I always thought I was pretty much alone in this class of bigots… but I am not so nervous anymore.

Bought some music…

tATu - 200 KM/H in the Wrong Direction
Patsy Cline - Remembering Patsy Cline
Patsy Cline - 12 Greatest Hits
Linda Ronstadt & Aaron Neville - Cry Like a Rainstorm - Howl Like the Wind
Eminem - Encore
Al Jarreau - Best of Al Jarreau
Aaron Neville - Nature Boy - The Standards Album
Rockapella - Smilin
2raumwohnung - Es Wird Morgen (Premium Version)
2raumwohnung - In Wirklich
O.A.R. - The Wanderer

Patsy Cline is one of my favorites. The Remembering Patsy Cline CD is really cool because it has all of these great artists (Diana Krall, Norah Jones…) doing remakes of her stuff.

O.A.R. = Of A Revolution. I have heard that they are similar to Dave Matthews Band and actually first heard about them during Summer Welcome a long while back. Glad to finally try them out.

Snow Patrol (which I bought a while back) is just super duper AWESOME! Go check them out.

tATu is just a guilty pleasure. Rockapella is like Boys II Men, Elliot from my frat has me interested in this style of music. 2raumwohnung is this really cool German band… not sure what they are singing but hell, I like it haha. Finally, Linda Ronstadt I should not have to explain, however Aaron Neville and Al Jarreau are singers my mother just LOVES and we used to listen to them all the time. I feel so comforted by listening to this music. I sometimes feel like Geoff thinks I don’t have as stong of a connection to my mother as he does to his mother. I do, I guess I just don’t talk as much about it.

Well, my hands are starting to hurt from typing. I have more to say such as I found fantastic resources for my Poli Sci paper and I lost and found my cellphone today. w00t!

Love you guys.

Feeling Icky, Kinda Sticky

Ok, so update, the Rufus Wainwright - Want Two CD is not as good as Want One but that is like trying to remake the Mona Lisa. Even if it were a duplicate, the original would still somehow be better. It is worth buying for sure. It is worth $25 easily considering you get a live concert DVD with the CD. Sir Elton John says that Rufus Wainwright is the best songwriter in America. I think he is correct and perhaps he did not say the world only because he is Elton John’s competition. The Ben Folds/Rufus concert was something else. Oh yeah… Guster was there ha-ha. Ben and Rufus would do an amazing CD if they ever did a duets CD. I think that should be a requirement ha-ha.

Destiny’s Child’s (which I keep spelling Destyiny’s Child) new CD, Destiny Fulfilled is fabulous. Near perfect CD. Beyonce is some sort of songwriter. I certainly hope they do a tour because I will have to hit it up for a great time. They will likely do all of their platinum hits (which is a concert in itself), their independent stuff (Beyonce and Kelly especially, Michelle’s was a gospel album so it might not work so hot in a Destiny’s Child concert ha-ha) and obviously their new stuff.

This CD is definitely a more relaxed, slower CD. There are not as many club hitting songs, but those that are I feel are very solid.

I just got back from my training session (work out with trainer) and it did not go all that well. I got sick towards the end and we had to stop my workout. I did not lift nearly as well. I think I need to eat something but I am so afraid to leave my room because the girls might see me and say something mean or give me looks or just whatever.

I cannot really talk to the girls; they stab me in the back any time they get the chance. They bend and fold the truth to make things scandalous or they dilute them so that a situation arises. As it is in the movie Memento, “Do not trust her, she lies.”

I will be better once I get a meal. The girls used all of my milk but like a splash, so I guess I cannot have any cereal, which is about all I have here to eat.

I want a steak right now ha-ha. Is that so much to ask for?

I need some serious doses of potassium as well; I am so stiff right now.

When I did all the calculations, my workout was not as bad as I had thought.

My Workout

I update that with each workout. I have increased over all by a nearly 2000lbs lifted per exercise. I was at around 2000 and now at around 3600. Check the link from time to time and tell me how well I am doing ha-ha… I do not get that from much of anyone and I think it would help me. Positive attitudes rock hehe

Had a good time with Gus, I think I am going to try to hang out with him some more. It is weird but I feel like I will miss him a LOT when he moves away. I get sad thinking about it. I really like Gus, he is a nice person.

Thinking of being sad… I think I burned up enough calories last night crying for like an hour to eat a regular lunch today. I am scared about losing Geoff and I think that we can work things out. I do not like to think about us stepping things down; I like to think about us opening ourselves up for more time to hang out. He needs more time with his studies and making friends and I need the same. It is just scary for me because I feel like I have given all that I can and if he was to start falling for someone else, I have nothing left to use to win him back.

Anyways, I really must shower now so I can get clean and type up some stuff for my Bio class.

Love to you all.

New Rufus/Destiny’s Child/Keren Ann

WOOT

I just got the new Rufus Wainwright and the new Destiny’s Child and the new Keren Ann albumns… I am super excited to give them listens.

The first song on Rufus is Agnes Deis which is one of his most fabulous songs… and only has like 3 words. It is so beautiful. He has a full orchestra with this albumn on a good number of the songs. Plus it came with the live Filmore concert DVD which has be so wet my body has started leaking (as per Ludacris).

Destiny’s Child is my gamble cd. I know this just might be their last CD and I sure hope they go out with a BANG! Their single Lose My Breath which has been almost over played on the radio. It is a great song and fantastic music video. The girls are together and bare… as the cd cover suggests.

Keren Ann you have probably never heard of. She is a sweet girl… as if I know her haha. I just found out about her, listened to a few songs and bought the CD. I will let you guys know how it is. Cover art will be posted later… just for shits.

Such is Life?

My professor just said that today would be a disturbing day… Nothing could be more disturbing than yesterday. Things are rough and I am searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. He has been my light for a year or more now. He lights my life up and I am afraid he is finding his light in other people. I think his eyes, and heart, might be wandering, I surely hope and believe that is the extreme of our situation.

I know he knows that I love him, he must for I tell him everyday. I hold him at night, kiss him and want little more. He tells me that he loves me, but I don’t feel it like I did before. I keep waiting to hear him tell me that he wants to watch me fall asleep. Even while in bed, I feel his mind is at an unrest.

Things are crazy for him right now with fraternity elections, missing his family, saving money and mostly, education and his future. It is hard for him, as it is for almost anyone, to choose his future. I myself know that. Right now I am at a loss for where I want to go and who I want to be. Lawyer? Doctor? Psychologist? Businessman? Advertisement?

He says now that he wants to just exist… I feel like that is where I am and trust me, it is not where anyone should want to be. I have said for over a decade that I wish my future was picked out for me. I wish I was supposed to be a lawyer, that it was in the cards, etched in stone, something even more permanent perhaps. Maybe I am supposed to be a jazz trumpet player… professional ice sculptor?

I feel, in my gut, that things will work out. Life will get better for us both. We will grow stronger for each other, with each other. Soon we will part for nearly, if not at least, a week. I remember the last time we were pulled apart. It was rough. I found myself near tears nearly everyday, and certainly every night in bed.

I love you.

On a side note, I bought a cd today, and will but two more by day’s end.

No Doubt - Everything Comes in Time

And to buy…

Destiny’s Child - Destiny Fulfilled
Rufus Wainwright - Want Two

Dream Catcher

So this girl sitting across from me at the Artisan right now is wearing dream catcher ear rings. Native Americans believed the center hole would allow good dreams to reach the sleeper but the web would catch the bad dresms. But what would be the point of the dream catcher ear rings? A dream catcher only works when you are sleeping… Yeah, I just don’t get it haha.

Got some new cd’s today

Destiny’s Child - This is the Remix
Savage Garden - Savage Garden
Savage Garden - Affirmation
Savage Garden - Remixes
AIDA - Soundtrack
Elizabeth - Soundtrack

I really love Calogero. I have always liked to listen to the French language, but listening to the French language in song is even better. It is so amazing how similar and different music from different nations can be. Hmmm… back to homework.

Ciao babes

Maybe It’s To Early In The Game

I just love Barbra Streisand. She is a beautiful woman, from her voice, to her outspoken personality, to her ability to take on such diverse roles in movies. From Hello Dolly to playing a nutty prostitute, who else?! I am listening to her Christmas album and I like that. I know it is not even Thanksgiving yet, but Geoff has me in a Christmas state of mind. Is that such a bad thing?

It kind of sucks, this will be the first Christmas that I do not have a good deal of money to use to buy people nice gifts (I just said “good deal”, that is such a Geoffrey phrase hehe). Any who, I need to find frugal (what a bad word, eh G?) ways to Christmas… Music is cheap! Perhaps I will just burn a bunch of CD’s.

The only thing is that I do not think people will get it… Like, Joseph and I can exchange CD’s that we burn for each other and we both realize that it is not just a random selection, even if it might seem so. There are songs there for a reason. There is a lot of love put in our mix CD’s that we have given each other over the time. I think I have only received mixed CD’s from three people… it is a magical thing, if you get it right.

That is the tricky part, getting a mixed CD, formerly a mixed tape, “right”. I think John Cusack put it best in his fabulous film, “High Fidelity” when he said

“The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don’t wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules. Anyway… I’ve started to make a tape… in my head… for :name:. Full of stuff :pronoun: likes. Full of stuff that make :pronoun: happy. For the first time I can sort of see how that is done.”

That is so true. Take note those who ever want to make me a mixed tape! Ha ha. I know I have already scared some people with my mixed tape policies… they have to be from the heart, but not hokey. They have to be meaningful and deep but they also have to be comprehendible when you are drunk. They have to be long enough to tell a story, but not so long as to be epic.

I feel I could write the soundtrack of my life, it would be perfect, it would be good, it would make people cry and it would make them laugh. It would be one of those epics. My mixed tape would span my life from birth, this track, care of Alan Silvestri.

But who would listen to it? Who would care to listen… hell who would have the time? Twenty years of music? Well, let’s be honest, I could only count about 40% of the time I am asleep and there would be some repeats. Still, I am betting a good 12 years of solid music. Fuck “twenty in a row”.

My mixed tape would be romantic almost to a fault and tragedy that would make Days of Our Lives seem like a grocery store paperback. Danielle Steel, watch yourself.

My mixed tape… what a thought.

Do not think though that I have the gall to claim that I can make the perfect mixed CD for anyone else. I am just as afraid as anyone else to make a mixed CD or tape. It is a daunting task, it takes a lot out of a person, at least it does when they mean it. No low blows, cheap shots or gimme’s.

I love you. That is the only way I know how to end this. Let’s make the Duke mad. There is so much more I want to write, so many more thoughts running through the tiny little mind in my oversized head. Nevertheless, right now, the biggest thought is of the guy in the other room.

I’m Dating A Weirdo

Haha, I love my boyfriend but he is such a weirdo!

We did not end up getting the digital camera, I think Geoff is going to look again in April, closer to when he will be heading to Europe. I would love to go with him but I think I will have to stay here.

Anywho, we are off to a Scarlet Camellia dinner pretty soon. Who knows how it will turn out. I just hope we don’t embarras ourselves infront of our sisters haha. I really don’t care though, as long as Erin is there to join Geoff and I, it should be fun.

I started a Mizzou After Dark group at The Face Book. Not sure why but seems like we could have fun with it haha.

I have had a lot of phrases in my head recently that I have wanted to expand upon, but as soon as they enter, and before I get to my computer, they flee my mind.

I bought a few CD’s today

Barbra Streisand - Duets 2002
Barbra Streisand - Christmas Memories
Oklahoma - The Soundtrack (1980 Broadway)

I just keep buying music… WOOT!

I can’t wait till Tuesday… new Rufus Wainwright CD/DVD and new Destiny’s Child CD/DVD. They will both make me wet haha. I am so sick sometimes.

Geoff is going to make us late to this dinner haha. He is just fucking around hehe. :) I love it when he sings. It makes me smile, from the inside out. He sings in the shower with no inhibitions and that is so attractive. Even if someone can’t sing, not to say he can’t because when he actually tries he sounds really nice, confidence and just FUN-ability are attractive features.

Anyways, I think I should push him to hurry some more haha

Love

Camera Time

Geoff and I are out to possibly pick him up a new digital camera! Woot! :)

Love you guys

Breakfast for Dinner?!

I have to keep this kinda short, need to get ready for Geoff who will be here shortly. We are going to make breakfast for dinner and then we have to rush off to work.

Bought some new music today

Carla Bruni - Quelqu`un M`a Dit
Ms. Tiniti - Ragga Hop
Mindy Smith - One Moment
Britney Spears - My Preorgative
Isabelle Boulay - Au Moment D`etre A Vous
Emilie Simon - Emilie Simon

Loving Mindy Smith, the others I need to listen more. The last three are French, if you could not guess (if you could’nt guess you are just plain silly!