It’s Just Justin

Upping the Ante

I am about to get ready for breakfast with Landon. I enjoy my time with him and I feel as though I should treat each time as our last time together. Soon I will be on my way to California and he will be on his way to Italy.

Friday is Jim and Ryans monthly ritual. I am not sure if it is their sixth month together or not…

Yesterday night Jim, Dave and I watched Trick.

I really liked it, they only liked Coco Peru’s part in the movie, albiet a short part.

Dave and I later got my oil changed, took liek 10 minutes, Jiffy Lube is hella fast!

We then went Cemetery Hunting, we only made it to one cemetery but plan to hit up some more before I go.

Like I said, we planned to go to more, here is Dave planning, he was really hard at work!

It was fun. Then off to drop Trick back to Ninth Street Video and to Macoroni Grill for bread and Chicken Scallopini. They were out of bread! Instead they gave us pizza slices with nothing on it except some herbs. Sad excuse.

Dave thought it would be really cute to dump his basalmic vinegar all over the table and his plate.

It was a fun dinner.

We came back home and sat around, watched some Family Guy and played some Star Fox, I watched as he played.

We all then went to the early premier of the new series of Family Guy. It was histerical. The other show, American Dad(?) was pretty funny too.

One the way home, Jim said he wanted pancakes…

Off to Walgreens where we got syrup and chocolate milk (for Jim). I made us pancakes and then went to bed.

Well, I gotta get ready for breakfast. Ciao you guys

Question of Honour

You just have to love this song.

Thoughts on a Rainy Day

That song has a lot of meaning to me. It is the song for my future. Howie Day sings to me, I put on my headphones, the world around me is blocked out and it is just the thumping beats of the bass and the soft strumming of the guitar strings. My eyes close and images start focusing.

Tears fall as my eye lids close into each other. I not only hear but also see the beats thumping as my tears fall into my cup of tea which sits on a saucer next to crumbs of a once great, buttery scone. My body rocks to the beats and sadness overcomes me. I have become addicted to this feeling. Addicted to feeling worthless and unwanted. I don’t like it but I somehow find comfort in the reliability that I will forever be emotionally alone in the world. I will have friends, I might even be lucky enough to sucker someone into dating me, but emotionally I am dead, no prince in sight to breath life into my heart.

It is a cool morning and we are sitting on the back porch again. Rocking away in the swing, a blanket keeps the chill off our skin as we do our part to keep each other warm. He lifts his guitar from the floor and tells me he has a song he wrote for me. He starts to sing the song; the sun is just peaking over the mountains and orchard casting streaks of bright orange and green into the sky. I rest my head onto his shoulder and begin to tear up. My hands are shaky and my heart is pounding. I can hear no less feel his heart pounding asynchronous to mine until our heart beats line up. The song ends and he tells me for the first time just how much he loves me, how beautiful our future is together and how he will never let me go.

It is so interesting to me how I can feel two completely different things from the same song. What does it mean? Do I really have a choice? Can I make the latter story be my story or is it all in the stars? Does anyone really get to choose their life or do we live into a life like a fish grows and adapts to its surroundings, having no control of the size or shape of its aquarium?

The song has played four times since I started this post and I am in no mood to stop it from repeating, again and again.

I need a peronal journal entry

So once I get out of the shower, and make all my appointments, I am going to write a post that is just my actual life and not just the social part of it. See ya.

Classic Justin

Yesterday was a mess mess mess! As messy as my room, maybe messier!

Woke up really late, but that was ok. I woke up alone and that was sad. I missed having Jim and Dave with me. We could have a one bedroom apartment with a king sized bed, or queen maybe haha, and just be the happiest trio around. I would love to do an experiment like that… sounds like a reality television show! I am surprised that we don’t just call them RTS’s, we are so into abbrev. things.

My hair is really dark, mes cheveux sont tres fonces. I guess that is ok though. I will stick out in California.

So, woke up and headed to Trent’s (why do I think my day was so messy? Ignore that please). That is a lie actually, he came over here and we started working on the network. We were going to bridge our wireless networks together. It worked but not as we had hoped it would and now my router is completely blown. Luckily I have my warranty and receipt so I will be getting a new one today.

That extravaganza took most of the day away. I was supposed to bake/get a cake for Kevin/Jon/Colin’s party and get in contact with Chris about coming down to Columbia and get my haircut and go to a few parties and… Yeah, at 10:00 I finally just bought a cake, had it decorated by Meghan, threw on clothes and ran out the door to pickup Dave and Brittany.

The party was just fabulous. Before we get to the party though, I forgot something.

Jenny and Ashley came to my room to help me get ready, clean it up a bit and pick out some clothes for the night.

Patrick had come over, he was talking about how happy I was, he had forgotten to bring me the clothes he borrowed, he first asked for alcohol and then he calls me a bitch when I tell him he can use my computer but only if he did not change settings on it like the taskbar. It was a simple request right?

HE BLEW UP at me. It was crazy. We were all having a good time watching Girls Will Be Girls and cleaning or just sitting or getting dressed/ironing, and he explodes. Jenny and Ashley were like, “Uh, no he is’nt Patrick” and then Patrick got even more angry and stormed out, after throwing my laptop onto my bed, twice. He stomped into the living room and told Meghan that he wanted his money back (for booze) and she asked him about my clothes and he asked if we were the _____ police. I have not heard from him since.

Back to the party.

We got to the party and like the first person I see if Ben Coe. It freaks my shit out.

After about thirty minutes, and two beers, I am calmed down and I talk to him. It felt good. I don’t trust him with too many details, he is in Acacia ya know haha.

Oh, but he told me that I am not an active member of Acacia! Kyle told me…

We will keep you on our internal records as an active brother. Know that you are always welcome back among us for you are one of the Founding Fathers of the Missouri Chapter of Acacia Fraternity.

That fucking liar! Brotherhood my ass.

The party was fantastic. Here are pics!

We are watching Trick gotta go!

Kevin, Jon and Colin’s Party

I fell alseep writing my entry. Oddly enough I woke up to a page full of Zzzzz’s… Interesting.

Earth Day

IN COMPARISON, THE AVERAGE ECOLOGICAL FOOTPRINT IN YOUR COUNTRY IS 24 ACRES PER PERSON.

WORLDWIDE, THERE EXIST 4.5 BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCTIVE ACRES PER PERSON.

IF EVERYONE LIVED LIKE YOU, WE WOULD NEED 3.7 PLANETS.

That makes me a little sad… Hmmm

Alone Again

Tonight is the first night for me to fall asleep alone. I am kind of sad and kind of glad… I loved Jim and Dave staying over, but I need a night to myself so it is ok that they had other things tonight.

I really want to brush my teeth… There is this amazing show on TBS right now, some cartoon, really funny.

They should make babies.

Anywho, what happened today?… Meh, too tired to type it all out. Had a wonderful evening with Landon, almost saw Geoff (YIKES!) and meh meh.

Tired, but the show is called The Oblongs

“When the series premiered on Australia’s channel Nine is prime-time in 2003, it was pulled from the air mid-episode after an order from station head Kerry Packer, with the reason being that he found the program grossly offensive.”

The Oblongs are a physically deformed & socially inept family living in a town called HillValley. Pickles (Voiced by the stunningly beautiful & talented oscar-winning Jean Smart.) is a boozing, bald headed, wig-wearing floozy happily married to the love of her life, Bob Oblong. (SNL’s hilarious Elf, Will Ferrell.) Bob is an upbeat, moralistic, pipe smoking father right out of any typical 1950’s sit com. But without arms & legs.

Their children are Biff & Chip, 17 year old conjoined twins sharing three legs & three butt cheeks. Milo, (Played to perfection by Pamela Segal Aldon of “King of the Hill,” “Recess” & “Time Squad.”) an 8 year old boy with every traumatic childhood disorder known to mankind. And their youngest, little Beth Oblong. (Voiced by the mop-headded, beautiful, multi-talented Jeannie Ellias.) Beth is a fearless, adorable 4 year old who is Hello-Kitty-cute with an enormous, grotesque, wart covered, growth protruding from her head. It is not a penis.

Milo is a social reject as are his friends, Peggy the Mutant; the girl with no lower jaw & one little booby in the center of her chest, Helga (Voiced by great big lezzie, Lea Delarea), Mikey Butts whose butt cheeks sag down below his knees & Creepy Susie, (Mikey & Susie both also voiced by Jeannie Ellias.) a morbid goth girl who - for no mentioned reason - floats 6 inches above the ground. No kid at school will befriend this group of ugly rejects, so they must find companionship with eachother, gathering in their clubhouse in Milo’s backyard every day after school.

The town of HillValley is the pharmaceutical capital of the world, the water is tainted with toxins, as is the air. The nearby meteor on the skyline gives off a soft glow of radiation from worlds light years away. Thus the folks of HillValley are either physically deformed or mentally deranged. Fun for the whole family.

13 episodes of “The Oblongs” were made. Premiering in April of 2001, lasting for one (1.) season. The producers working on the show softened Oblong’s vision, making “The Oblongs” merely another lukewarm, prime time comedy about a family who does nothing all that unusual, then hugs at the end of every episode. “Gross.” Says Oblong.

If picked up by another production company for more episodes, “The Oblongs” has the potential to truly become something people will notice, talk about & have plenty of controversy over.

“Pissing off normal people? Kay, sounds fun.”

Give Give Give

That is all I ever do. I love it.

I totally have to do this with Jenny sometime. I had so much fun with our glow stick, imagine what we could do with a bunch of colored LEDS!

(p.s., I do take from time to time, I love that too)

Haircuts, Rain, Disney, Wireless Routers

Click the small pictures for larger ones.

So much has happened in the past 24 or so hours.

Dave called me and asked me about clippers, whether or not I had any. I was planning to buy some anyways, so Jim and I went to Wal-Mart to get some and prepared to cut Dave’s hair. This was going to be fun haha. I was nervous to do his hair but if we fucked it up we were just going to buzz it or mohawk his hair.

I started out the haircut and Jim finished it off. At first I felt kind of replaced and worthless because Jim was asked to do the actual cutting of the hair and he just seems to do everything I do, a little better. But that goes for most everyone.

So Jim cut it into a faux-hawk and it looks absolutely fabulous. It was really fun doing his hair, I still need to clean up the mess we made in the girls bathroom and my bathroom.

Check out the results, Dave looks even hotter!

I had bumped into Ben Coe on the way to Ryan’s and started to freak out. Then the replacement as a haircutter and then hearing the cheers from Greek Week skits and finally getting shit from Jenny about not making her a bowl of ice cream (it was fake and I knew that but at the time it just fucked me up even more)… it all threw me over the edge and I just ran to my room and cowered. I was so freaking depressed, I felt like dying.

Jim and Dave came in and talked to me for hours, it was a really wonderful talk. I still think I am fat, ugly, stupid and then some but I still must say that I enjoyed the conversation.

We all slept together and it was a blast. A little warm and a little packed, but I enjoyed it.

That was all last night. Tonight Jim and I were supposed to go to a poetry reading event, we ended up not going and instead watched Dogville. It is an incredible movie and everyone should watch it. Then we got energized…

It started to rain tonight and Jim, Dave and Jenny ran outside to play in the rain. I started to and then realized, pneumonia still… so I got an umbrella and took pictures of it. They were having just way too much fun, it was awesome. The rain did not last too long sadly, but it was a hard rain. The roads were just washing down so hardcore, it was really cool.

The rain was amazing, so powerful and fast and cold. It was incredible, I love seeing the power of nature.

Jim and Dave got into some towels and played around. How cute! Dave did a few poses and after a while we decided to play a game. Mad Gab was the game of choice, not mine but it’s all good haha. Geoff was right, that game sucks (in my opinion and his haha).

They played teh game while I half-way played and half-wayed sat on the internet. I got a phone call from Keith which was nice. He is a really nice guy, I like him a lot, even though I have never met him.

We watched Fat Actress episode six earlier today and ate Kettle Corn I made, it was yummy!

Who is the hottie in the unabomber atire?

The night was fun. We all went like crazy and started thinking up old Disney songs and cartoons that we saw when we were young. I am so impressed at what they remember. I only saw most Disney movies like once so I am not a lot of good when we get on that subject. I do enjoy it though! I went and bought 125 Disney classics though. We have been listening to them for the past hour or so. We really should be sleeping but we keep listening to more music. I cannot believe how much they know, I think they are sick… Well perhaps I am just jealous. I am going to go with the jealousy, it is much easier to cope with than sick/crazy people.

Speaking of jealousy… I get to sleep with two guys tonight, none of which have any feelings for me! ROCK!

We just all chilled out in the living room. I wonder if Dave believes that I can be a “chill” person. He laughed at me when I said that I like to just be “chill”… maybe it is because I am so high strung sometimes, more so lately than in the past.

We have all had some good talks recently. It is nice.

Ok. So back from a sweet slumber. I just dropped Jim off at Gillet and Dave and I are watching 007 Goldeneye. Maybe we will play the game later… That would be nice.

We played Mad Gab, as you no doubt read above. Note our grande chandelier. I love to pretend that it is a real, crystal chandelier in some beautiful ballroom in some glorious European ballroom…

We went to Wal-Mart ya know, these guys were walking around the area we were in singing, well one was, “I hate gay people, I hate gay people…” How charming.

We watched the Little Mermaid on our new VCR, it was fabulous. We also got a new wireless router, the old one died last night, damn! The new one is just so hot right now. Love’n it.

Dave and I had ice cream for breakfast, yummm… but I really wanted and still want Jimmy Johns. I doubt he will eat it with me but maybe I can steal away and get some haha. I need to pay my cellphone bill today and pick up the rest of my medicine.

I am done with this entry, it is a complete mess. I will hopefully have a much nice one later today or tonight. I hopefully will have something to do tonight beyond Queer Monoloques. Tomorrow there are a few parties. I really really need a haircut right now too, otherwise I won’t feel the least bit cute! Maybe a new outfit for the weekend… hmmmm.

Much love,

Justin