August 29th, 2005 | | Posted in Uncategorized
Ok… things have been so crazy recently, let me recap… this is mostly for me but whatev.
Moved to California with my cousin David, he left to go back to school in Texas. It was a blast while he was here but all good things must end.
I made a few friends, started working out, things were great. Then I started seeing someone special, Seth. He was so sweet to me, I was giddy, on edge, everytime I was around him. At this point I was still thinking about moving back to Columbia and was not sure how our relationship would work. I tried to make sure we did’nt get too serious but…
Got a job working as a manager of Starbucks (they told me THE manager but again, things change) at Target. The job was awesome at first but things got kinda hairy.
I went San Francisco Gay Pride and had a total blast. Got roughed up at a club killing my camera and my cellphone totally gone. It all started with… well I guess if you know me well enough, you know why things got kinda crazy… Anyways. That incident aside; Pride was a total fun time and allowed me to become really close to some great people, Andrea, Loren and Seth.
Seth and I started hanging out more, we would go with his friends to clubs at least once a week and just have so much fun getting dressed up. Some people thought I was going crazy, doing drugs, etc etc. No. Just having fun expressing myself. No drugs, or alcohol for that matter, involved.
The clubbing slowed down as work picked up, closing more and more often, getting upwards of 40 hours a week, I just could’nt do it anymore. Things between Seth and I had just begun to get serious and this new work schedule began to cause some problems.
I got espresso grinds in my eyes and got this terrible eye infection. California worker’s compensation laws say you must see their doctors within thirty days. Target reads this as you can ONLY see their doctors (and they pay and accept the treatment) within the thirty days. In reality, you have to see one of their doctors and then you can see one of yours, as long as you see theirs first. However, I could not convince them, even after bringing the California Taxpayer’s Guidebook into the human resources office while we talked this over. The infection spread into the glands on my neck and by my ear, but the doctor claimed those glands did not exist, instead I had TMJ (that jaw lock problem). I was right though, I went to my own doctor and he got me fixed up, I just had to fit the bill.
After a lot of debate, I decided I would stay here and not move back to Columbia. It was a really hard decision but thanks to my mother and some friends, I was able to make a pretty well rounded decision on the matter.
I got a new webhost and moved the site to www.itsjustjustin.com.
Mike and I became even closer friends as things between Seth and I got hairy. I think the extreme amounts of time we spent together (nearly every waking, non-working minute) and then the sudden halt to that caused some rifts. Mike introduced me to his guy, Kevin, when my fuel pump went out on my car. That was a crazy week. After a few days of fighting with the car dealership, they finally realized I was right and fixed my car (they said nothing was wrong but clearly something was as, well it would’nt drive more than a few miles).
A few weeks later, nothing really changes. Starbucks has its grand opening and it is a busy and fun week. I make a lot of new friends at work.
Seth and I start to get better… but there is still this unspoken… something… between us. Derek comes back from New York and almost instantly Seth seems to forget he is dating me. I start to feel used, as a driver, financier, help… everything. Meanwhile work starts to become complete hell as people begin to turn on me, I am promised a raiseI don’t get and they refuse to really work with my school hours.
I start school. I now have almost no time with Seth as I have school and work from 9:00 am until 10:30 pm.
I begin to stop trusting Seth, he has begun to go out without me, sometimes without even telling me. He never calls and seems to always be with Derek (which really makes me uneasy). Andrea has moved to Alaska and Loren is planning a move to Australia, Seth has a job opportunity in San Francisco.
Seth earns the promotion, he deserved it! We are both really excited about the move but it seems that he is too involved in the move to think about me.
At his going away party he pays almost/totally no attention to me, I leave and he does’nt notice/care, I come back and leave again… the same. Mike and I talk that night, it feels good to talk to someone about this all.
I visit him the next morning and find him in bed with three other guys… Maybe nothing happened but with alcohol and “us” not being so great, my hopes are deminishing.
I get in a car accident and things go off track. I had planned to visit Columbia and see Jenny, Jim, Landon, Michael, Dave, Brittany… the gang. This is cancelled. Instead my mom visits me and we work out issues here, class schedule, car, etc etc.
Seth does not call me for days, ignored me when I visited him after my accident. I am terribly upset about this…
Yesterday (this was a breif rap up eh?) I move Seth to the city and somehow it seems that we have worked out some of our problems. Or maybe his on-the-edge emotions kept anything from coming up, wanted to prevent more heartache on his part.
I am back in Santa Rosa, going to school, working and looking for a new job. My mom and I are planning my departure to Europe, hopefully I will be moving there in January, but who really knows. I need one more class to get my health insurance, working on that right now.
My house is finally getting some proper attention after I got the other guy out of there. New crew arrives in a few weeks and should have it finished up in another six weeks.
There is a lot more, but that is the gist of it. Of course you can find all the details in posts prior, though I think I highlighted the main topics.
Well, I guess that will do for now. Things are’nt in perfect order but whatever. If I kept typing this would just never end.
You were an inspiration to an entire university and beyond. You will be missed by those who knew you well and those who you never met. I remember when you ran for MSA president, I remember when you had to pull out and the powerful emotions evoked. I remember working on the fund raiser planning on behalf of you with Acacia Fraternity. 
I have a song to post. It is a fabulous song from James Blunt entitled Goodbye Lover. This song goes out to all of those who are still thinking about the one they love who is no longer their’s… Holy crap, I’m turning into Delilah. 
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