It’s Just Justin

New Mexican Light Show

I’m Outta Here

So no internet for a few days as I drive to Columbia.  This might be my last post for a few days, not sure if we will have internet at the hotels and such.

Wish me luck!

Grandmother’s House I Come

Well, actually, she came to me.  I’m no longer trecking across the country by myself.  My grandmother has come to join me, yay!

I spent about an hour at Seth’s mom’s place talking to her.  Our topics ranged from Missouri, my future, Seth, Seth’s future, my future with Seth, my past with Seth, my past, Seth’s past… it was very Seth and I oriented… haha.  Lucky me, Seth has an uncle in St Louis, his mom gave that as an excuse for them to come visit me. :-)

Well, I’m super hungry and don’t want to dwell on the dreams I have been having about leaving.  Kevin, Mike, Kayla, Callie, Seth… all these wonderful people flash in my mind.  I had a dream Seth, Kayla and I lived in Washington… not sure what else happened but we all lived in WA and loved the forests…?

Hungry and need to pack

Ciao!

-justin

Saying Sayonara to Seth

That wasn’t easy. I went to the city last night to bring Callie and Kelly to a huka bar and decided to stop by and see Seth. He kinda avoided saying goodbye to me last Tuesday when we were supposed to do the dirty deed, I had to have a last word with him. We drove around San Fran, got some Starbucks, laughed about old times, got quiet when we talked about the future… Cried a good bit, hugged, simple farewell kiss and a few text messages. He has beeen one of the most influential people in my life, for the good and the bad.

So weird to say goodbye to someone you love knowing that there is a great chance you will never see them again. Like Landon will be in December, Geoff in May…

Thoughts are with Jeremy today, throwing some love and good vibes your way, keep me up to date buddy. Much love.

Ok, gotta packup some more before work, then picking up my Grandmother who is flying out here to help me.

I feel like a part of me is dying.  I love you.

Problems with the Backend

So my server has been all sorts of weird lately.  Something about my blog, and one Yahoo! plugin, caused computers to basically download the entire thing.  Especially if you had Google Accelerator installed.  On my computer, my blog would load up 958mb of data before my computer would start to stop.  I went through and got rid of most of my plugins, going back to basics again.

I almost just deleted the entire database and installed the most basic of tables, that always scares me though.  What if it doesn’t come back?  Years of writing, just gone.  I need to install the local Wordpress, there is a MySQL server you can install on a USB Dongle and then have that as your local server as a backup, really cool, gotta find it again.

Packing up some more, my dad is no longer able to fly out and help me move so I’m doing it alone, booooo!

So Ready

I am so ready to just get to Columbia.  I’m so tired of hanging around here, just waiting for my moment to leave.

Sleepless, Annoyed and… Whatever Happened to The Outer Limits?

Love long titles.

Callie was supposed to hang out with me tonight but never called.  I didn’t get a call from Kayla for her birthday party directions until 11:00pm and no call from another friend to tell me the plans for his birthday in Sacramento until it was too late.

So, the no calling experiment is failing, or succeeding?

But, I did get a call from someone tonight.  Jeremy, a friend from Facebook.  He’s super nice, actually can’t wait to meet him when I move back to Missouri next week.  We are going to see the Da Vinci Code together, whoop!  Really super guy.

However, he totally woke me up around 11:00 and now, 3.5 hours later, I’m still up.  Yeah, we talked for almost two of those hours but, do you realize how crappy television is at this hour?  I just finished watching The Outer Limits… didn’t this show used to be scary or at least creative?  It was just horrible.

A Pearl, an Arrest and the Best Cappuccino

Friday was a day off for me, as is today, so, after laying around the house, bored of packing, I decided to go see Seth in the city, surprise him at work or something.

I get 12 miles from the city and realize… um, I’m almost outta gas! As luck would have it, I exit into the cheapest gas in all of Northern California, as far as I know it. At $3.09/gal, I’m saving 30-50 cents/gal! So I’m super excited about this. Then I get on the road, I have my camera in tow, try to take a picture of the line for gas and see that the cards I brought are both full already.

Full of what you ask? Pics from when Geoff and I were roommates, when he was dating Andrew and I was dating Jim. We are talking, like two plus years ago. Craziness.

Anyways, I hit up Fillmore Street and score a parking spot directly in front of Seth’s MAC store. I pop in and let him know I’m around and then stop by Browser Books for something to read. The lady there recommends to me Einstein’s Dreams.

Einstein’s Dreams became a bestseller by delighting both scientists and humanists. It is technically a novel. Lightman uses simple, lyrical, and literal details to locate Einstein precisely in a place and time–Berne, Switzerland, spring 1905, when he was a patent clerk privately working on his bizarre, unheard-of theory of relativity. The town he perceives is vividly described, but the waking Einstein is a bit player in this drama.

I finished the book, a short 180 pages, in about an hour or so. It really was that good. Here is an excerpt from the book, a story that captured me entirely.

In the hospital on Gerbengasse, a woman says goodbye to her husband. He lies in bed and stares at her emptily. In the last two months, his cancer has spread from his throat to his liver, his pancreas, his brain. His two young children sit on one chair in the corner of the room, frightened to look at their father, his sunken cheeks, the withered skin of an old man. The Wife comes to the bed and kisses her husband softly on the forhead, whispers goodbye, and quickly leaves with the children. She is certain that this was the last kiss.

Oh my.  I sipped a triple small cappuccino at Peet’s while reading this great novel, the coffee was just as good as the book!  I also started writing another book.  One that will be found on me when I die so that everyone will really think I’m crazy.  Is it so crazy as to write a book to make people think you are crazy… does that then make me crazy?  Meh, I just think it will be funny.

Seth and I had hamburgers at Pearl’s Hamburgers on Post Street in San Francisco.  It was probably the best hamburger I have ever had; with sweet potato fries and a small peanut butter shake, what more could you ask for?  It was huge, prime beef (wish I had known about the option of buffalo meat) with fresh tomato and lettuce, 1000 island dressing and fresh-baked buns.

We pretty much crashed at home after eating.

This morning Seth’s awful, ugly inside and out, roommate bitched to Seth about something that was not Seth’s fault and ended up basically asking him for his thirty days notice, which Seth gave him.  This guy is a total ass, I just wanted to kill him this morning.

I drove Seth to work, we got some coffee and watched an American Indian, and very verbal supporter of “the troops” get arrested.  We aren’t sure what he did but an hour after being arrested, he still sat on the corner with the police behind him…

Is This Hipocritical?

I am one of those people who always calls other people, but I am rarely called upon, of course unless someone needs something…

One person I have called, historically, several times a day is Landon. I always got his voicemail and I hated it. So recently I decided that I would not call him, or several other people, to see if they ever called me.

Landon: hey

me: hi

Landon: how are you? you disappeared!

me: how so?

i stopped calling people that is all

Landon: that’s as good as disappeared, and not nice

me: i am tired of hearing ppl’s voicemail messages

Landon: ok, then I won’t leave you any more

me: i haven’t gotten any

Landon: you used to be mad because I wouldn’t leave them

I called you Tuesday

me: voicemail messages being “hey, can’t answer the phone, leave me a a message”

or worse “the person you are calling, area code 707-690-6890, is unavailable, leave your message after the tone”

Landon: why is it that you expect everyone else to be available exactly when you call them, when you know that’s not practical because you’re not always available when people call you?

Unless poeple are calling me between the hours of 4:00am and 12:00pm, I am available. I am available for call sixteen hours a day. Furthermore, I don’t have any voicemessages or missed calls from pretty much anyone. I am not calling pretty much anyone from now until I leave here, continuing and expanding my experiment. The idea is that no one cares to talk to me. Fair enough. But don’t make it my fault that we don’t talk. Don’t say that since I stopped calling, that I disappeared. It is as much your part in the game of socializing to call me.

I mean, is it so wrong as to expect from others what they expect from you?

Now, this is not a rant against people who I call and they call me back. Jenny always calls me back, my dad… well, he tries. Even Seth is calling me these days, without me calling him first. When I receive three friendly calls from Seth in a single day and not a call from Landon for a week, that is a sad state of events.

I remember my freshman year of college. Between me coming out, being anorexic and not calling my parents each day, said parents were going to send me back to Texas and make me finish out my education there. They expected me to call them at least a few times a week, nevermind that they never called me. I could prove it too. My university phone line came with a monthly report of incoming and outgoing calls, as did both of my cellphone plans. They never called me as much as I never called them.

It seems I am being chastised for not being the social butterfly telecommunically that I typically am. Moreover, I am moving and you would think that friends who know they might never see you again, would want to hang out. I get promises from friends daily, yeah, I’ll call you when I’m out of class or work or dr appointment or whatever, and we will hang out… but no calls. They will be mad at me, as history proved when I moved from Columbia here, if they don’t see me before I leave, but I have more things on my plate than worrying how I am going to visit the 247 people I met since moving to California.

Justin + Moving = May 28th!

That’s right, May 28th I will be leaving the great state of California and heading back to school. Well, it is my last day at Starbucks here, then I’m going to pack up and leave, so let’s say Tuesday will my last day?

Ok, off to my hammock to soak up as many California rays before they are gone for a good while.