Singing this Song for You

I find the best environment in which to write, rather, the best conditions for my writing tend to have loud, concentration grabbing noise.  The aural sensations all around you are used to steal away your attention, removing your thoughts from your writing and causing writer’s block.  However, if you are able to conquer the noise and keep your concentration, pound the tips of your fingers into the keyboard, clicking and clacking your way to your imaginations’ destinations.  I have gotten so good at pushing out the white noise, black noise kills me.

No sound at all, no aural pleasure, I can’t write in those conditions.  That is why I love my iPod shuffle.  I can bring this piano key around me everywhere I go, plug in my headphones and discount the world around me.  With only my iPod Shuffle I have battled armies, fought white capped seas, and even drowned out the valley girl next to me on the bus retelling her Friday night to an eager ear across town.

It has become an essential part of my life, my music.  This afternoon I purchased the Michael Bublé – Caught in the Act CD/DVD combo.  At twenty-six dollars, I had my hopes set quite high on the quality of both the performance and the recording (audio/visual).  My high expectations were exceeded.  Bublé gives a standout performance, belting out songs from Stevie Wonder, Frank Sinatra, Charlie Chaplain, and those in between.

Originally, this purchase was “research” for my recital on the eleventh.  I am singing a song of Bublé’s, Save the Last Dance for Me, and curious how he performed the song live.  Most important to me was the very last note on the song, on the studio CD, the note is only three or four beats, I feel it should be held out for around twelve or sixteen beats.  On this DVD, Michael improvises scat… Um, yeah, don’t think I have the testicles for that.  I’m thinking that I will hold the note out.

After watching the DVD and listening to the CD, a strong and soaring desire to sing came over me.  To stand on a stage, a “big” band behind me, grand piano to my side and strings to my left, is to reach Elysium.  I wonder if this dream will ever be made a reality.  My voice professor recently asked me if I was looking into a professional singing career.  The laugh that erupted from my abdomen didn’t even faze her.  “With the right coaching, you could become an incredible singer; you certainly already have the voice and empathic nature for it.”

Can you imagine?  Someday, me, on stage, bright lights from my feet casting dark silhouettes across the stage, a microphone in hand, I walk into the spot light and sing the words, “At last…”  That thought, the visual it provides, the emotions it pulls is almost enough for me to trash everything I have worked for academically (whose existence I am still trying discover) and go for it.  Whenever I begin to think like that, Jenny pops into my mind.  I imagine she somehow has a large part in all of this.  What her part actually is, I haven’t even the weakest idea.  I wonder of the romance, the allure and the adventures we would experience.

I think I will take a few more singing classes next semester.  They are cheap, they are fun and they make me feel good about myself.  Not many things in my life actually make me feel better about myself.  Why not keep this feeling alive?  With this feeling, not unlike true love, drugs are unable to replicate.

There are several people in my voice class with powerful voices but not many of these voices carry the emotions required to feel the songs.  To understand a song, you have to feel the words, put yourself into the song writer’s proverbial shoes, and sing with your heart.  I try to do this each time I sing… Even with the fun and fast songs, tears can sometimes form.  I am smiling and yet, crying.  An emotionally paradoxical circumstance.

One thought on “Singing this Song for You

  1. Everytime I hear (or read) about myself coming up in the thoughts of my friends it brings a smile to my face. I am anxious to see where you take your singing!! I hope that I can be a part of it some how. Maybe i can play my violin in your string section or something! I hope you keep up the things that make you happy. They are the only things that matter. I love you!

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