Recapping 2015 Part 1

If you thought I’d be writing like a mad man in 2015 you were sadly mistaken. In a period of time where so much has changed for me it’s bewildering that it was the first year in over a decade that I wasn’t writing.

I managed to go over a year without a single post and it sure wasn’t because I had nothing to share. The last time I checked in with anyone on here was nearly 500 days ago. In that time I’ve made some massive changes to my life.

Let’s go through the highlights. I’ll keep this part brief, so much to share would hate to condense it into a single post! Continue reading

Eastbound and Down

May 29th I will be taking flight to the East Coast with a singular purpose, to see you New Yorkers. This jaunt will be followed by a trip down to visit my friends in Washington DC before heading back west June 6. It’s a short trip but I plan to fill it with oceans of fun.

I would love to see you all my New York City friends and my Washington DC friends on this trip. I think the easiest way for us to do that is to choose a night to all meet up for dinner, drinks and debauchery. There are only a couple of nights in New York City that this can happen but I will also be free during the day for coffees, lunches, museums, etc.

Take a look at that schedule and let me know when you’re free to hang out. Feel free to suggest things I should do, places I should eat and bars where I should have a drink. As far as New York City, I still have never seen a Broadway show, gasp, and have only been to a couple of museums. So if either of those whet your appetite, let’s make it happen! Looking forward to seeing you guys.

As far as my time in Washington DC, well I have a lot more of it. So let’s get creative about the time we share together in The District. I’m even tempted to add on a night in Philadelphia but with the tight schedule I have, that might not be possible.

Catching up on a few things

I was thinking today about how much I have to catch people up on. Even though my life isn’t super exciting or anything, I often put out these quick short stories and get so distracted that I never follow up on them. So here we go. Continue reading

Wine and Friends

You might remember that I went to court just a couple of weeks ago to deal with a squatter who had been living in our family cottage in the wine valley. We won the lawsuit and he was to be evicted 5 days after the judgement had been made official, ie, after he was informed and the Sheriff had posted notice on the house.

Well the day came that I was going to have to meet the Sheriff’s deputy and do the official turning over of property from the squatter back to me.

Not a fun trip to make really. Luckily my dear @KaylaGettys organized a super fun blind wine tasting with some of her friends in Healdsburg. So, the night before I had to be in Forestville, I went to Healdsburg, met some really amazing people, drank some fun wine and generally had an amazing time.

Without that night I don’t think I could have made it through the day that followed.

Goodbye is the Hardest Word to Say

There are a lot of people that come and go in your life. Your childhood best friend, your first boyfriend or girlfriend, college roommates… You get the idea.

I've done a lot in my short time in existence, which just recently hit the 26 year mark. I've lived all over the place, up and moved across the country three times. I am lucky enough to have friends all over the state, the country and the world. It never fails that I will be in a random city, for a random reason and I bump into someone I know. Just last week my friend slash coworker Amy, aka @adifran, and I went to Blue Springs Missouri for a Think First event.

Amy and I weren't there more than ten minutes before two people came up to me, a classmate from Advanced Photography and a guy who couldn't quite pin down from where exactly he knew me. A little later I bumped into a friend of a friend.  

A couple of years ago Ryan and I were in Chicago, about to hop onto the L when, what do you know, someone who pledged my fraternity recognized me. He and his girlfriend road with us to our stop, we talked old times and parted at the next stop. 

But then there are those really special people in your life. The people you don't expect or don't even realize how much they mean to you until it sneaks up on you. 

As a kid there were these people in my life. My brother Patrick who I looked up to as most little brothers do. I wanted to be just like him for the longest time. I don't think he ever really knew how much I wanted to follow in his footsteps. Even today, when I need that really big life changing type of advice, he's the first on my list. He was the first family member I came out to. Without his support I wouldn't be where I am today.

The next person in my life was my cousin David. David and I were best friends from childhood. We summered on the beach every year together, we went to the Cayman Islands together, we built forts, we did all the things you do with your best friend… breaking into swimming pools, talking shit, camping out, you know the drill. When I decided I was going to move to California David was the first person on my list of people I wanted to live with. A couple of weeks later the two of us were driving to California for an adventure like we'd nothing we'd ever dreamed of.

In high school there was Joseph. I could tell Joseph anything, he could tell me anything. Together we somehow survived uniquely difficult junior and senior years. It seemed like our friendship blossomed overnight. One day we were two parts of a huge clique of friends, the next day we were best friends. Our nights were shared going out to dinner at Chipotle or Macaroni Grill, driving up and down FM 1960 blasting hip hop music, buying music and finding comfort in our shared company. Always kind, always funny, always there for me and up for just about anything.

One way or another I said goodbye to each of these people. Patrick is married to the most amazing person in the world and living off in Houston. David is also married, which is a bit of a shocker, he always was such a heart breaker. Joseph, this was perhaps the most surprising. He's in Korea teaching English, getting a law degree and generally exploring the East in a way that would make Dhani Jones jealous.

I would argue that the hardest part of goodbye is the feeling of emptiness it leaves you. There are these people who have made such a strong impact on your life, they have shown you love, they have taught you about yourself and the world, they have been there for the good and the bad through laughter and tears, love and pain. What they leave behind is a pit, an endless abyss of negativity. You are happy for their ability to move on, move up and move out. You know you'll see them again, that you can talk on the phone or online and that you'll still be friends for life. But your heart fights reason.

Your heart reminds you of everything they were to you, everything that is now lost.

These are holes you are certain can never be filled back in by anyone or anything else.

Enter Chase. 

Chase entered my life after I abruptly moved back to Columbia from California. Little did we know we were dancing around each other nearly our entire lives. From living in the same part of Houston, to the same part of Tulsa. We went to the same concerts, even an obscure Jason Mraz concert my senior year of high school. We both loved the same music, the same obsession with technology, movies and shows. Who would have thought that this total stranger would become like a brother to me?

I have Chase to thank for a lot. Would I have Ryan in my life without Chase? I'm not so sure! He brought so much to my life in a really unexpected way. At the time I didn't really have many straight guy friends. Most of my friends were other gay guys or girls who attracted gay guys like moths to a flame. I have Chase to thank for the next two people on the list. 

Corey, over there on the left eating Dave's bicep.

The first night I met Corey I thought… David? He reminded me so much of my cousin and proved to be just as cool, fun, exciting and generally bad ass. A little over a year ago I realized just how important Corey was in my life. He and chase moved to Blue Springs with their band to do the music thing full time. All of a sudden I felt this emptiness like I hadn't felt in a long time.

When Ryan was in the hospital and with a dangerous prognosis, Corey was the one I went to. He comforted me in a moment of absolute vulnerability. I was emotionally drained, physically shaken and felt like the world was closing in around me. I drove from the hospital to Corey's work. I made it all the way to the counter before I broke down into a sobbing mess. 

Corey brought me the level of comfort, compassion and love I needed so dearly. He held me, dried my tears and absorbed some of my fear and despair.

And in then there is Sam. An incredible photography, a fantastic musician (like Chase and Corey), passionate, funny and ridiculously in touch with his feelings and the feelings of others. There is nothing I couldn't share with Sam. His heart is pure and his mind is open.

It's a little funny how when I think about Sam my words begin to fail me. In place of words are memories, his last night in town at the Snorty Horse, Scouts concerts, bar hopping around town, photography talks, trivia nights, tequila shots at The Artisan… Thinking about these memories literally brings a smile to my face. He shares a heart and humor paralleled by only one other person I've ever had enter my life, my high school best friend, Joseph.

I get lost in the memories of these three guys. A mixture of happiness and sadness overflows me. This time a few months ago we were hanging out and then, one by one they moved away. Sam was the first to go followed by Corey and then Chase. They moved up, on and away in the exact opposite way that they entered my life.

Not going to lie. The night Sam left, signifying the inevitable end of one of the best periods of my life, I was a big ol' mess. Cried my freaking eyes out. 

A lot of people have entered my life. These people came and went, they made their impact. They were friends, roommates, classmates, boyfriends… They were for me the most important people in my life at the time.

Things were different with Chase, Corey and Sam. For the second time in my life I felt an endless sense of loss. There was something unique to these three people that affected me in a way only my brother, my cousin David and my best friend Joseph had before. It was in the night that I said goodbye to Sam that I realized something. That whole left ages ago had somehow been filled by these three guys. I realized that there are people put into your life to fill a certain purpose. To help you grow, learn and love.

Twice in my life I've had this experience. Who could ever expect to be so lucky?

I put off writing this blog post for quite a while. June 22 I started writing and over a month later I'm here to finish it. Why am I finishing it now? Well I got some other big news late last month. Ryan, arguably the most important person in my life will also be leaving. We're both excited, scared, nervous and happy about the big change we're both about to experience. In a few weeks Ryan will be living in San Francisco and I will have to say goodbye, temporarily as I stay here in Columbia.

But that's another day and another post.

Sam, Corey and Chase moving away was incredibly hard on me. I felt that familiar emptiness. But today I smile at the prospect of visiting Sam in Seattle, Corey in Florida and the incredible excitement at Chase's wedding in December. They will be a part of my life for the rest of my life and I can't wait to see where we all end up. Who knows, we might some day find ourselves back in the same city together, drinking PBRs and grilling some burgers.

I can't wait to see what happens next!

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Independence Day Eve

I can't help but want to watch the Will Smith movie, Independence Day every Fourth of July.  Just say'n.

Some how I managed to miss all the fireworks this Independence Day weekend.  No worries, I had a great time with my friends drinking wine, listening to music and chowing down. David, Alex and I headed out to Les Bourgeois for their BBQ, live music, wine and awesome view of the river.

There were a ton of people there, not an open table in sight. Luckily this really nice, really redneck, family gave us some room at their table.

One thing I love about Les Bourgeois is the dramatic shifts in populations there. One moment someone is in heels and a sun dress and the next it's a guy in his rugby outfit. You just never know what you're going to get.  All you really do know is there will be a lot of people there enjoying a lot of wine and some of the best food Mid-Missouri has to offer.  Seriously good food.

Unfortunately it started raining, and then it stopped and then it started again… Yeah, so we went back to Columbia, before the fireworks show started. I got dinner at Flat Branch and then we headed to Tropical Liqueurs.

There we met up, by accident, with some friends both old and new. I have lived in Columbia for seven years and I still seem to meet new people regularly. That's pretty awesome.

Off to the condo where we watched a horrendous "scary" movie called The Fourth Kind.

Despite the lame movie, the Third of July turned out to be one of the best Fourth of Julys I've had in a long time. Good friends can do that.

On second thought… all the more reason to be sad about so many of my friends moving away!

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Not a Trivial Night

December 9th I spent most of my day at the hospital for tests. I’ve been getting bronchitis around six times a year for a while now with the occasional pneumonia thrown in for good measure.

My general practitioner, finally having enough of it, sent me to a pulmonary specialist for a proper diagnosis. After a PFT (pulmonary function test), X-Ray, a CT-Scan, a few stress tests/O2 measures and a meeting with two pulmonary specialists, I had my diagnosis.

The news wasn’t good but also not the end of the world. It isn’t life ending but it is something I will live with for the rest of my life. It’s progressive, chronic and not a fun diagnosis. But not something that I will let get me down. I have too many wonderful people in my life, Ryan being at the very top of that list, that make life more glorious. More fantastic than any bad diagnosis could defeat.

That night I was given evidence of these awesome people. I got a call from Corey asking me to join him and Sam (@coreyschmidt and @samuelaveryhunt) at Harpo’s for trivia night.

You might say that the night itself was “trivial”, har har… This was my first foray in to trivia and, what a remarkable performance by all! We were just one question away from winning it all! Unfortunately, Phoebe (@fotofobe) was there…

Being the smarty pants she is, her team, the Never Nudes, swept up the win.

Never mind, that. The evening was a wicked fun, ending with a few more drinks with Chase (@clettenberg) at their place and my first taste of Wise Guys Pizza.

It wasn’t long before my unfortunate doctor visit was just a distant memory.

Thanks guys, I love you.

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