Coldplay- A Rush of Blood to the Head
So sitting here with Chad on the ground floor lounge of Graham. He is so very cute… Where is my camera?
He at first made no room for me on the couch, we are doing homework, I was hoping no one would be here so we could actually talk, oh well. He is writing a paper, LOTS of homework to do apparently. So do I but I love procrastinating… Though I am past deadlines now and that makes me ill.
He is drinking coffee and smelling oh so nice. I bet you are thinking I am really weird for writing all of this but he has to think that I am writing for a class and I would sure hate to waste all this typing for nothing.
Crap! Just realized something. He is in Graham now… That means that I cannot just leave and I have no way to really signal Geoff to come down to get me… I really want to talk to Geoff. I need to talk to him. I am not sure what I am going to say or how I am going to say it or why I think I need to talk to him, but we just have not talked much today.
By now he is annoyed at the music I am playing in the room. It is the same song over and over again. Sarah Brightman and Josh Groban doing There for Me. It is such a great song and I hope he gets the undertones of it.
Ok, so it is Geoff, not me, maybe I should just tell him. I love how you are always there for me and you should know that I am always going to be there for you.
I love also how you do anything you can to avoid certain words when they are permanent, when they cannot be erased so easily. You might say something aloud but putting it on paper, putting it on the web, you don’t do that. I LOVE that about you, just FYI.
And since Jenny did not know what FYI stood for… FYI is the abbreviation for For Your Information, just FYI.
Why are there people here? I really just want to talk?
He asked me what I was doing, just said I was doing one of my entries 🙂
He has a silver thumb ring, I find those quite attractive. I actually want one myself… And now he too starts to type.
He is VERY thin. Makes me feel terribly obese, and his laptop is really dusty. You can see nearly every vein in his arm and his ass is scrumptious. I don’t understand how he can look so different at different times. One day his hair is all done up and he is super cute, the next day it is down and he is straight looking (as in cute but rough).
He can type about the same speed as I which makes me come to two conclusions. First, he is fairly good with computers. Second, he is a journalism major, or some other major where he would have had to type quite a bit before going to school.
He is a freshman taking English 20, just like me. His class seems a little more interesting than my class. How does one look so cute?
I keep going on tangents, I know, but this post is a total flow of consciousness, not even going to spell check, which I have not been doing anyway.
For my Infectious Diseases paper I have to use one of my class books to write about Leprosy. In one book it mentions leprosy as a “bacterial infection” and in another it is labeled “close cousin to tuberculosis”. I have already used the latter so my other paper is going to have a reference for two words. Whatever.
I really don’t even want to be here. I, as I think I related to earlier, have no way to get away from him. He is in my territory, I can’t just leave.
Right now I want to talk to Geoff… Again, why do I even type that when I don’t know why or what. I guess I just miss him.
Geoff I miss you! You just make me happy. (I can’t be sad for very long around him, he is amazing)
I am very glad not many people know about this online journal. If more people end up finding out about it, I hope they refer to this post.
If I ever hurt you through my writings here, let me apologize. This is just a way for me to vent. Otherwise I will just keep all my emotions inside and then get really “bad”.
I love you all, right now at least. Hehe.
This is hopefully going to end up being a somewhat long posting. I really am doing better now even though I am fucked tomorrow because I WOULD be getting back a paper I have not even turned in. I would have only been a day late for the paper but I was too scared to turn it in. IT IS A REALLY GOOD PAPER TOO!
A lot better than my first paper I know that.
Looking at my arms I realize something. I need a tan. I need a tan like Columbia needs a real Starbucks. I also need to lose some weight and gain some muscle.
Damnit, where is Geoff when you need him. You are supposed to be “[Here] for Me” like the song says. Grrrr… Haha
I think Chad is getting a little nervous, weirded out, by being here. I wish that some noisy people would come in so we could have an excuse to part. I would go to the room and see Geoff and he would go where ever.
I know he did not walk for 10 minutes in the wet and cold to type a paper, he wanted to see me, and I am already over him. I am already beyond the sexual attraction.
Wow, and that was Geoff, scaring the CRAP outta me as he snuck behind me and asked what I wanted from Hitt Street Market. I think Chad saw it as Geoff trying to save me from boredom… Well he was Chad. You are hot but I want something more.
I am really tired, maybe the something more I want is just sleep. No, I want a real relationship. No bullshit. No drama. No fake smiles. Just in your face, brutal honesty with love to match. That is what I want.
I would love sex with Chad but after that I would still just want the last paragraph. (not sleep smart ass)
So I am going to Chicago… I really am this time.
He is obviously wanting to leave here. He wanted to talk too. It is just not working out here. Geoff called to try and save me again. SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN PERSHING.
If the room was picked up I would ask him if he wanted to come into the room because I had to do a WebCT quiz or something, but I don’t see that working out because, well the room is not picked up.
Right now I want sleep and a hug. Both are on third floor. Jenny, SAVE ME!
Yeah, I really need a tan. So in a few mins I am going to propose the “I have to use my other computer” idea. I really hope he will just go to Pershing or something. He wanted me to help him stay awake and write his paper, I just don’t see that being a possibility.
He keeps looking at me… Wish we could both agree to part telepathically, how great would that be? He is a great guy to party with I am sure, but to date… Not so much.
I hate how certain keys on my keyboard become disabled randomly. The arrow keys primarily though after a while my entire keyboard will sometimes become disabled and I have to reset my handheld.
Here is what I am going to say…
Hey, I have to do some stuff on my computer, you are welcome to go to my room and work there otherwise you can hang here or Pershing, no big deal.
Hopefully he will say that he needs something from his room or that he is going to Pershing. I really just don’t want to end up with him in my room or worse, in here with me for any longer.
I need to get the guts to say it. He has been readin the same piece of paper over and over again. I know he is not actually reading. He is thinking the same thing only it is much easier for him to leave than for me to leave.
Ok, it worked, in the room, GOING TO BED!