I got a message from the “cute, funny and a blast to hang out with” guy I was seeing. We seemed to go onto the rocks about two weeks ago for reasons I still don’t really know. But maybe now I have a better idea?
I feel I should apologize. I was probably too hard on him in my post, I never meant to evoke that he was a player or cheating or anything in that arena. He is too nice of a person, too honest and kind, I feel, to ever do that to another person. I should have given him the benefit of the doubt and I apologize for not giving him what I would have expected for me.
Perhaps life really was that busy and stressful for him in those weeks. I can find sympathy as I find myself right now running around campus getting financial aid, getting classes, getting schedules, re-working schedules, working and trying to better myself emotionally, physically and socially.
Life isn’t easy.
I chatted with Jim last night about the feeling you get when someone really matters to you. Each embrace is like the first time, each kiss as scary and rewarding as in the beginning, every touch is unique and comforting. You only get that when both people allow it to occur. I felt I had it with him which is why the sudden disconnect was so rough for me.
I wouldn’t want anyone to think anything ill of this great guy. As I wrote before, I would never allow myself to date someone I felt would intentionally hurt me. He, I feel now in full consciousness, would never do that to me.
I’m very sorry for my implications, the ramblings of a tired, stressed guy in the dumps. I hope you read this and can forgive me, move along and maybe when the time is right, we can bake cookies again, or watch a scary movie, maybe even go antiquing… wow, we sound like bores don’t we?! hehe
Well, I’ve been running around since 8am, I need to get some sleep before work in an hour.
And once again, I was wrong and I whole heartily apologize. I wish I could do as Cher and turn back time. I guess I Just needed to get something off my chest, for better or worse. The post did compliment you a good deal hehe.
P.S.Â To compare this guy to Landon, Seth, Geoffrey or Jim is to compliment him.Â These prior mentioned guys are my beacons of love and friendship in life.