He is Leaving on a Jet Plane

Geoff left today for Europe… I am actually crying in my apartment right now. I love him so much and am so glad that his life has worked out so well for him. I wish we could have spent more time together… after we broke up; things between us became really distant. I regret that. Geoff, I love you and if in any point of your life you find yourself needing a shoulder, you know I’m there for you. No one can love another person more than I love you, others may succeed in matching but no one can supersede. I have a special account for emergency flights to Manchester (among other places); don’t think I won’t use some of the funds!

I love you, stay safe, stay yourself and have a blast.

Mark, special message for you; be for him what I somehow could not. You have possibly the most incredible man you will ever meet with you, do not let him go! Enjoy your stay in the good old motherland and take remember that you only live once, but in Europe you can live at least twice, live a little, make some risky decisions for the sake of adventure. Nothing teaches you more than spontaneous experiences. I know I hardly know you, but if Geoff loves you, why would I say otherwise. Love you, be safe and take care of my old “swing-set” hunter.

Dear God, this is such a hard time for me. I wish someone was here to hold me and guide me through this. Why is it causing me such sorrow to know Geoff has left? I need direction, hope and a strong arm to carry me through the next few weeks and months as I encounter several huge changes in my life. Who will be there for me? Where should I go? What should I do there? When should/shall it all happen? Why? These are just some of my questions, questions that haunt my every living existence.

Plus the one question, have I done something that has darkly tainted my future for love and a happy life? I am too afraid to find out.

And he is without me.

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