Megabus Chicago to Saint Louis

Ryan and I decided to go the “green” route home from Chicago and took the new Megabus from Union Station to Union Station.

The bus was brand new, clean and pleasant.  Nothing like the China Bus Ryan and I took to New York City from Washington DC.  Nothing like that haha.

I would say that the Megabus is aimed at college students more than anyone else.  You must make your reservations online which not only cuts costs but consequently prevents “bums” from getting on board.  You have to have access to a computer with an internet connection and a credit card to make the reservation.  I guess this is a good idea, maybe I just don’t have an opinion on it.  I fear sounding elitist by saying it was nice to not have sketchy people on the seat across from you, that sounds bad so let’s just pretend I never typed it, k?

One interesting dynamic, a bit of Rosa Parks perhaps… The bottom floor of the double decker bus was inhabited by white middle to upper middle class girls.  Not a boy or non-caucasian in sight.  Go up the stairs and 90% black girls.  There was one older Greek woman, two Asian boys and the two of us.

I guess the minorities were forced upstairs, no matter what minority you were in haha.  The upstairs was nice though, more seats and a fantastic view, the downstairs has some seats facing other seats with a table in between.  Magnificent! Next time we go we are going to take those seats so we can chit chat with others and play Blackjack or something.  We played together, I won Blackjack but Ryan kicked my ASS in a game of War.

We made our first and unnecessary stop in Normal Illinois.  The passenger we were waiting on never showed, boo to that.

Our second stop was at a truckstop/laundro-mat/restaurant/arcade/store…  It was all sorts of white trash.

What more could you ask for?  How about really fucking scary dolls?

Not enough?  How about some “turn from sin, turn to Christ” cassette tapes.  Yes, you read that right, cassettes.

One guy from the bus took of the boxes of tapes to the bus.  The entire box.  Lord only knows what he plans to do with them (pun not totally intended).

The entire place was pretty hilarious.  I understand that truckers need a place to chill when on the road, a place to escape to outside of their trucks… But why does the place have to be so trashy?

The “Lounge” consisted of a couple of cheap metal chairs, a 19″ color television broadcasting the cliche Nascar race of the day and some neon lights of various colors hung haphazardly on the wall.

The smell was something else, wow.

We were given about thirty minutes to hang out there, get lunch at one of the nearby fast food establishments and just stretch out legs.

Of course, as with any stop, there has to be a few stupid people that disregard the time constraints.  I swear, how do these people get through life?  Three girls were left behind at Subway until someone yelled from upstairs to the downstairs of the girls running behind the bus a good fifty yards back.

Hilarious? Yes.  Would I have liked for them to run an extra 100 yards?  Of course.

We got into St. Louis despite the acts of God going on around us.  The storms were so strong that they were pushing the bus between two different lanes.  We got home safe and sound and then crashed, poor Ryan had to be at work five hours later!

All and all, I will definitely take the Megabus again, hopefully pretty soon!

The Testicle Festival

Dave came to me with a dream… A dream to go to the Testicle Festival in Olean (Oh-Lee-Ann) Missouri. I made this dream come true… Sorry!


We were greeted by the biggest camel toe I have seen in quite some while, and an almost appropriate t-shirt.


This town has not seen VIP… Trust me…


And look at that class!




For a while we couldn’t even find the testicles…  Damn right?  I want my bull or pig or turkey testicles!


Oh, there they are


And the price was right!


Tastes like chicken… except you could too easily tell they were testicles.  We both tried one and then… well yeah, the texture is not for me.  Or the fact that they were testicles.

DSC_5423.JPGYeah, so that happened.