So the past two weeks have been so life changing for me. I am constantly just a blink away from falling into tears. I keep thinking about how close I was to keeping Geoff how simple it could have been if only I had known what was going wrong. I am still so afraid of losing him, there are so many other people in the world that I am battling against for the love of my life.
Geoff has put the lyrics to All I Ask Of You from phantom of the opera. If he is sending it out as a message to me, it makes me feel very comfortable. If it is for someone else, life is going to be rough for me. I see him as Raoul and I am Christine.
Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I’m here, nothing can harm you – my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears.
I’m here with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you…
Christine: Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime…
Say you need me with you now and always…
Promise me that all you say is true –
that’s all I ask of you…
He knows now how much I love him and he knows that I realize my mistakes… he has not made mention of any mistakes on his part, but I am sure we both know he made just as many mistakes. No one is perfect and put two people together and expect the relationship to have twice as many imperfections as you, one half of the relationship, have. But there are also twice as many qualities.
You need to look at the good times… Remember St. Louis, remember the Plaza, remember those times that nothing else mattered in the world. I remember them and I pray every night that we can have those again.
I love you.